David Loserman's Top Ten Reasons to
Subscribe to KEMS Internet Service.

The KEMS Company Song
Money for Nothing

Money for Nothing

No we're not working.
we take your money,
and there's nothing to see.

Yeah were not working.
We'll take their money for nothing
on the KEMS IC!

Top Ten Reasons to Subscribe to KEMS Internet

Reason # 10: You get the same level of service for limited and unlimited level service.

Reason # 09: You'll be the first person on your block to get a full-time subscription.

Reason # 08: You get a chance to donate to a non-profit corporation.

Reason # 07: It's a guaranteed cure for internet addiction.

Reason # 06: You'll get to speak to new and exciting support personnel.

Reason # 05: You'll never have to worry about the kids downloading internet pornography.

Reason # 04: You'll receive the best public apologies in Kuwait.

Reason # 03: You're guaranteed never to get an internet virus.

Reason # 02: An Iraqi invasion will have no effect on your service.

Reason # 01: Because it's (Not) there!

KEMS ate the Kill or Be Killed Update, but remember what happened to T-Rex.

It became extinct!

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